When You're Not a Fair Weather Person

I'm not a fair weather person.

I'm a pointer to the rainbow after ones storm.

I'm the shelter when the hurricane hits.

I'm the fun haver on sunny days,

An instigator of dance parties in a rain shower.

To some, I come easy and I go hard. Like a Massachusetts ice storm in winter that takes weeks to clear.

And others, I come hard, and I go easy. Like a powdery Colorado snow storm in fall.

I don't want fair weather people either.

I want people of my element.

Who pull up the strength of the mountains they climb. Who inhale the scent of the roses they walk by. Who dish out only what they can take, and not what has taken them far away from themselves.

Who sit with the trees in quiet asking. Who scream back at the raging storm when their roof is flying off, not because it changes anything but because fuck...primal rage is their only guttural outlet for primal loss.

I used to be a friend to many. And now, I am a friend to some.

I used to be picked by lots in random dark parking lots. Now I am picked by few, who can sit beside me in candle-lit pews.

I used to think I had to love them all, like I love all the trees. But now I realize what the forrest has been trying to show me, that the one I was missing in my own ground was me.

I am not a fair weather friend.

I am the elements and the cave when they get tough.

So now, I don't let too many people in with me when times get rough.

Not because I don't love ... but because for once, I have to give ME...enough.

I'm not a fair weather person but I realize in holding all of those I loved through hurricanes and tornados when they'd never look for me in the storm, the one person I needed to be fair to...wasn't someone I needed to be "a friend" to out there. But someone who needed a me, to withstand the world, in my own, and all of its elements, in Here.

So I stay with me these days when I used to run to "them." And I gotta say, it can feel lonely sometimes but at least now, I have one real friend.